My Rock and Refuge

From day one I have never questioned God and asked why me. Why not me? The bible tells us in Matthew 5:45 that it rains on the just and the unjust ("That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust."). We live in a fallen world and I'm not exempt from bad things happening to me. I think of Job and how God allowed the bad things to happen to test Job's faith.  I firmly believe God is with me through this. It did not catch him by surprise like it did me. In Jeremiah 29:11 it says. "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."  When I was 3 years old I was hit by a motorcycle. I remember Jesus being with me then. He kept me safe until it was time for me to be returned to my parents. The doctors claimed it was a miracle I survived. It was.a miracle. While I'm not sure of all the details in his plan, I am certain of a few. I am sure he wants me to share my faith and how it is giving me strength to fight this fight. I seek Jesus in the wee hours of the morning with tears streaming down my face asking him to supply courage and grace to face another day. I find encouragement in his word and hymns that I have grown up with. It keeps me calm. People have often commented on my smile during this battle. That's God's matchless grace. Each day I have a choice. I can choose joy or choose to be bitter. I choose joy. I choose to find the glad in the bad. It is my faith in God that helps me and sustains me during this battle. 

As we face trials, finding a refuge in the midst of the chaos is a must. I respect others choosing other things, but for me I can without a doubt cast my cares to the one that cares for me and trust in his plan for my life. "The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower." Psalm 18:2