Those that can't walk with us

Hearing you have cancer is devastating. It turns your world upside down. Those of us that are walking down the cancer road, we need people that we can count on to be there for us. We need those that will help us with the daily struggles as well as encourage us during the bigger, tougher days.

Sadly not everyone in our lives is going to be able to step up and be there for us. It hurts. It hurts a lot. People that we once called a friend or thought the world of is unable to be there when we need them most. We are fighting for our lives and they can't be there. They may have said hurtful, immature things that show they are unable to understand the magnitude of what cancer means. It's painful.

Part of the pain might come from because we know how we would react to hearing a friend or loved one has been diagnosed with cancer. Perhaps we have. Perhaps we supported these same people during their times of struggle and expected the same in return now? We can't let their actions change our response when we are faced the choice to help someone in the future. Perhaps this lesson will help remind us how it feels to be abandoned by someone we thought cared and we will do what we can to show our loved on we are with them every step of the way.

How did I move forward? Acceptance.

It is still painful and hurtful, but I am learning to accept their choice to walk away and choose to not be there for me. I am learning to accept that some people are not mature enough to handle something as big as cancer. I am learning to accept that some people can not be counted on when you need them most.

We must remember they made the choice. They are the ones that walked away or where hurtful when we needed them. That rests on them. Something they will reflect back on. My friend had cancer and I wasn't there.

Yes, it hurts when those we thought would help us though a trial would be there, but acceptance is the only way to move on.

When my mind wants to set up camp with the hurt I feel I remember, acceptance. I focus on those that have stepped up to be there for me. For everyone that has chosen not be there, I have several more that have. Friends that I have known for less than year, sisters in breast cancer and sisters that have battled other types of cancer, Whovians, my dear family--even those I have only met recently via facebook, my amazing workmates, and so many others that said I don't have to fight this battle alone. My dear cousins' son even dedicated his most recent race to me and got his best time! How can I not feel loved? How can I dwell on those that don't want to be apart of this amazing testimony of God's work in my life?

Team Mimzy has made it very clear that they care about me. This struggle isn't just mine alone. It has effected them, too. They have made a choice. They have chosen to fight with me and on days I am too tired to fight myself or have to rest from chemo, they fight on my behalf.

I couldn't be at the walk this weekend, but my teammates were. I'm blessed.