I'm going to preface this with--this based on my personal opinion and my personal experience with cancer. I will not debate this topic at all. If you disagree, that's fine, but you'll have to find somebody else to tell. We all have a story and if you have cancer, a cancer story. You get to tell your story your way and I get to tell it mine. I would never personally debate you on your opinion or choices you made for your cancer journey. I expect the same in return.
Ah the internet! Full of such wonders! Sometimes. When I was first diagnosed and against my doctors' advice I read whatever I could find. That included personal blogs, Facebook pages and websites. I was looking for hope and personal stories. I did find a few. But there is a catch with those pages and blogs. Opinion and cancer is not a one size fits all disease. What happened to them may not happen to you. Sometimes the writer will pepper it with stats but not always with details. They may give a survival rate, but leave out what type of cancer and the sub type. They might write about someone saying a person died of breast cancer--what kind? What were the receptors? What treatment did they have? Or maybe the person had cancer but actually dies from something else--a complication that may have came about because of the cancer but not from the cancer. There are many variables to consider. Not every writer includes this because let's face it, not everyone would understand those details unless you have been through it. And even then not always.
The writer may also been trying to bring awareness to a topic and to drive home a point--cancer causes death-- and will quote stats that reflect this. Now with the recent options that are now available there are not a lot of known stats on how patients are doing on those drugs--so those other stats may not accurately reflect the new medications. Another thing I would like to point out is that there is always that small percent that does get the good news. I have only come across one of those blogs. One. Why? Who knows. Maybe because the new meds don't have enough studies yet? But they are out there.
The thing is when I'm reading another post or blog about someone with my cancer dying and the author stating it's just a matter of time for me until I die messes with my head. I know the poster is trying to bring awareness to a cancer that's under funded (yes, metastatic breast cancer is underfunded contrary to what the month of October tells you). But I often feel like I'm being told over and over "you're gonna die" and it's "soon".
However, there are new treatments for mets patients. There are patients that do end up in remission. There are patients that live a very long time with mets. No they are not cured but they are treatable.
So when I'm bombarded with blogs and posts about mets taking another life or death is knocking at my door, I look at my young child and husband and cry. Then I freak out. I go into a depression. A deep depression. It's like everywhere I turn the grim reaper is at my side! And according to some of these bloggers, he is! Leaving me gripped with fear! Am I next? How long do in I have?!
I can't live my life like that. I want to read about that small percentage that against the odds is thriving. I want to hear postive stories. Yes the reality can be depressing, but there are people in remission--who have had treatment that worked for them. Thankfully, I am one of them! Let's give hope where it's needed.
I don't need another reminder that I'm going to die. I don't need the cancer shadow stealing my joy. I need hope that I can live a long and fulfilling life regardless of cancer.
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