Dear Cancer a letter to my cancer from my daughter

When a parent is diagnosed with cancer, they have to make a decision on how to tell their children. How much they will share and how they will share it. It is very hard decision and not one that is ever taken lightly. As a parent we want to spare our children from the ugly and evils of the world, but we can't always do that. Sometimes we can use these situations as lessons on how to deal with trials we face. I would even say that every parent comes to the best decision that works for them and their children. There is not a one-size-fits-all approach to telling your kiddos. It can be messy and hard, but they are part of this battle, too.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, my husband and I decided that we would not hide it from our daughter. Yes, she is only 6, but we felt she had a right to know what was going on with me. We have spared her from the boring details that she wouldn't understand, but we have remained honest with her. If she has questions we answer them in way she can understand. She knows I have stage IV breast cancer. She knows that I am in chemo and so far it seems to be working. She knows I have good days and bad days. She knows I am not always up to playing and is very forgiving. She also knows I love her very much and she is one of the reasons I am fighting this cancer. When I look into her eyes, I know I can't give up this fight.

We had her participate in a special group offered by the cancer center for kids who had loved one that is battling cancer. She got to see how some of treatments are given, like radiation, how chemo is made and even gave out cookies to those receiving chemo. She got to talk about how cancer makes her feel. I am glad we were able to give her that opportunity. I think it helped seeing what I have gone through and what I am going through and place to ask questions that she had.

I asked her what she would like to say to mommy's cancer. She gave a scowl. I know that look. She hates cancer. She wants it to leave and not come back. She wants her mommy to be healthy. She doesn't like the unknown we face while we battle cancer together. I told her she could write a letter to my cancer and tell it whatever she wants. She liked that idea.

This is her letter.

"Dear Cancer, I do not like you. You are a butt. You are a brfff brfff (sticking tongue out) You are a pee." The drawing is her saying, "I don't like you." Cancer says," I don't care." She says,"OK!"

I told her it okay to feel those things about cancer and say those things to my cancer. Because, it is. It is healthy to write our feelings about things that are trying to hurt us and even share them and talk about them. She went from somber when writing it to a happy kid because she got to call cancer a butt. She knows it's not okay to call people those names (even if they are lol) but for cancer it is more than appropriate.

We also talk about when we are feeling upset and worried about mommy's cancer that she can talk to God. We use the scripture, "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." 1 Peter 5:7. I know she does find comfort in prayer and that is so encouraging to me as her mother. It is where I find my comfort as well.

I know God has a plan for my daughter which includes my cancer. Right now she wants to be a cancer doctor, but that very well may change. However, she will gain a compassion for those suffering and going through a terrible ordeal that can only be gained from her own experience. God will use this in her own young life to bring glory and honor to Him. This cancer will shape her into the amazing young woman God desires her to be. I am looking forward to seeing God work in her life and by his amazing grace I will be here to watch it all unfold.