I was nervous the day of the scan. I prayed that there would be some progress revealed by the scan. Some is better than no progress. I prayed it would reveal the treatment was working for my type of cancer. I prayed for my husband and daughter. I can't leave them. I will fight to the end to be with them for as long as possible.
I had to wait a week for results and it sucked. So many thoughts and worries preoccupied my mind. The what ifs made my stomach do extra flip-flops. I had a harder time sleeping. I felt on edge. I prayed and asked for peace.
We were predicted to get a major snow storm that day. I was already a ball of nerves and storm added to it. It ended up missing us and hitting Buffalo, NY.
Before I saw the doctor, I had my scheduled labs in preparation for chemo later in the week. My husband arrived soon after and then we were called back. The doctor was running a bit behind schedule, but it felt like forever. I felt sick to my stomach. I attempted breathing exercises, moving around, talking to my husband about other things, playing with my phone, nothing helped! When would the doctor get here!?
He finally came into the room and asked how I was. Um, nervous, worried and feeling like I am going to hurl. He told us that the CT scan (since the government says it is too soon for a pet scan) showed NO SIGNS OF CANCER. He did say there may be microscopic cancer cells that can not be detected by the CT scan. Because of this, I will continue my current treatments as they are. I will also be scheduled for a scan just of the bones so they can have baseline scan and check what he called cavities left by the cancer.
I cried. I asked him to repeat the report again. A huge weight had been lifted. I still felt like I might be sick, but I was ok. I could see the news had affected my husband, too. He hugged me and told me that he had already told me that the scan would be good news. That's him, though. He is always positive when it comes to this war on the cancer in my body. My rock, best friend and cheerleader. I am just going to say how amazing God is that he KNEW I would need someone like Bryan and he created my husband. I am so blessed. I totally got sidetracked and I am not even sorry. LOL
So then I had to call my family and close friends that I promised I would call and text, followed by telling my second family--my workmates. I called a meeting because I wanted to tell everyone at once. I wish our regional manager could have been there, though. It was emotional. I had a mini-breakdown the week before at work, so being able to share this awesome news just made everything sweeter.
The best re-telling of this fabbity-fab news was when I got to tell my daughter. When my husband and she came home I asked my husband if he had told our daughter. He said that he wanted to let me tell her. I called her over and told her I had something important to tell her. She asked if it was bad news. I told her I would explain and she crawled in my lap. I reminded her of how mommy had a scan to see if the treatment was working and we got the results. She had wide eyes as she looked at me. I started tearing up. I paused, took a breath and told her the good news. Her reaction was priceless. I then told her we would be going to Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate (something we as a family have always done even when it was just Bryan and I). She went crazy!
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| It is mandatory that we get a family picture every time we go to CEC. Our daughter loves looking back on them. |
A day later I am still processing those words and remembering my doctor's face as he told me. I could tell he was happy to give me excellent news. I am not completely out of the woods. I may still have surgery and possible medications after chemo. I still don't know what the future holds for me, but I do know that my life will never be the same.
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