Strength in numbers

Dealing with life or death situation is very overwhelming. The various emotions your mind attempts to process is draining. Having people in your corner to help you as you go through it can ease the chaos. I know I have mentioned my "Team Mimzy", which is made of many friends and family members that have chosen to love me through this tragic time in my life. They are the people that have gone out of their way to show me how much they care by providing for me in amazing ways. Some of have sent cards and gifts and others have been able to go with me to appointments. I had a friend that made one of my favorite desserts because I posted on facebook I was craving it. I still can't believe she did that for me. It is just humbling to receive so much love and compassion from people. I could go on for days about the things said and done for me over the last few months. I am grateful for each act of kindness that has been bestowed on me and my family.

I did write about those that have walked away from me and my family because they can't handle the cancer. Some had to be kicked off cancer island because it was obvious they weren't able to handle cancer. I won't go into all of it again, but as much as it hurts they can't provide the support we need as cancer patients, the hole they leave is always filled by someone that is ready and willing to help. We are much better off.

The unfortunate thing is even with all the help from these incredible people they can't understand exactly what we are feeling. Even sadder than that is no one can. Our battle with cancer is always as unique as the individual fighting it. During this fight, I have often felt isolated in my situation. To find another metastatic breast cancer patient (cancer spread to the liver and bones) with triple positive invasive ductal carcinoma that is under 40, chemo treatment of Herceptin, Prejeta and Taxotere, married with a young child has been hard. I have yet to meet one in person. It can be difficult navigating the stories of survivors that found a lump, had it removed and have been cancer free for 20 years. It is easy for me to often feel alone.

One thing that has helped though is connecting with other cancer warriors, especially those dealing with breast cancer. Yes, we all have our own unique struggle and not everything is the same, but the feelings of fear, anxiety and sadness are. Even those that have battled another type of cancer, but were also stage IV have been encouraging to talk to. They, too, know the feelings and fears I face even if I am dealing with different circumstances.

I have found a few local support groups which have been great in meeting others. It also helps with questions with treatment. I have been struggling with taking my pain medication. I am just not one that likes to take medication. But after talking to different cancer patients they reminded me how important it is to help my body by taking the medication. Pain can put extra stress on cancer patient and meds can alleviate that stress. I have since gotten over not taking my medication and just take it as needed. One day I will not need it, so taking it is temporary. It was nice to talk others that have walked in my shoes, though.

My faith is a huge part of my life and very much what is carrying me through this war with cancer. I found another support group for breast cancer patients/survivors that is built upon faith. It has helped being able to share our faith and having someone pray with you, especially during the unknown times like the days leading up to my scan results. As Christians we are called to, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2)

I have also participated in a fun night out and was able to meet up with several members of one of the groups. It was nice to meet others around my age and knowing they get how hard it is to be mother while battling cancer. It was also fun to do something nice for me. I have a hard time doing that. I am so focused on beating cancer I forget to do something just for me sometimes.

It can be hard finding the right fit with support groups sometimes. I will not participate in groups where the majority is negative and constantly focused on the bad. I understand others may appreciate that type of group so they can un-bottle those feelings they have kept hidden from others and it helps them feel better in sharing those angry feelings. I will not fault with another cancer patient who chooses to use this type of method if that is what helps them get through this horrible time in their life. However, for me, I have enough negative stuff and I refuse to focus on it.

It may take time in finding the right fit, but it well worth the time in doing so. It is well worth making friends with other patients, even if their journey is a bit different. They may provide a different perspective that can be very helpful to you as you are going through your own battle.

I think the best part of having a team of friends, family and other cancer patients/survivors is knowing you are not alone.